Dear Daddy : Half a Century Later

30 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by in Nonspecific Jabber

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Carol_Daddy

Dear Daddy,

It has been 50 years since you left this world suddenly. I cannot believe that it has been so long.

Memorial Day, the original Memorial Day, has more significance than the Monday Federal holiday that the US celebrates. Monday’s holiday is little more than a day off to shop and consume, because that is all we ever do in America now. According to sources, the first declared “Memorial Day” was May 30th, 1868–exactly 100 years to the day when you died. Now it has another 50 years added to its history. And I wish I could tell you that people no longer die in bloody combat or aerial bombing. It seems so much worse than before, with so many nations engaged in being ‘death merchants’, selling killing machines to other nations that have scores to settle within their borders as well as without.

Mass murder is sold by the minute even in today’s entertainment venues. What would you have made of it, having served in a real war?

Having faced Hitler’s madness 80+ years ago, what would you make of the world leaders today: the dangerous buffoonery of Donald Trump? The mass murder of Syrians by their own President in prisons that mimic the Nazi death camps? All the nationalist baloney that you would recognize from before?

I wonder what life would have been if I had grown up with you still around, which would have meant having Mom stay at home to greet me when I got out of school each day. I truly became an orphan. I have felt very alone all these years, even when I know I have great friends…but no one special to live in my heart and be my best friend for all time. I joke often and say I will get married when I am certain all my prospective in-laws will be dead. But maybe being an independent unit, untroubled by family bickering or tensions, may have come at a heavy price.

I have your WWII letters to read, the only chance I get to know you as a fellow adult and not the 10 year old girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. Many times I have smiled at your writing, groaned at your spelling errors (seriously? You too? You didn’t always know the difference between “there”, “their”, and “they’re”??), and felt dismayed when you wrote that the German people ought to be exterminated entirely for the horrors revealed in the spring of 1945, in the revelation of the first concentration and POW camps liberated by the Allies. I grew up having a great deal of compassion, a desire to know as many of my fellow earthlings, and lucky enough to have a job with some overseas travel, and with the internet, the technological tools to travel virtually and get to understand other cultures. I had German clients whom I am glad were given a chance, in defeat, to prove that they were under an awful spell rather than innately evil in themselves.

What would you make of the world today? I wish I knew. I don’t know how much of your sensibilities are lurking under my skin, vs how much of you is in my siblings. They and I do not ever speak. Mercifully, Mom is still ticking along at nearly 93 years of age and we are able to talk now and again. She has told me some stories over the years that make me think I could guess what you would think of some of our achievements as the beings known as “the human race”. It seemed so dark in the spring of 1968, with riots against injustice, a war in Indochina that was grinding and humiliating, an assassination of a black man who proclaimed peace, and a week after you died, we lost another member of the Kennedy dynasty to a violent death. It was bad then but I don’t think it felt as hopeless as it sometimes feels now.

What would you have made of me, your last child? I have made so many bad decisions along with those good decisions. I think haunted by the spectre of a short life because of you, I may have chosen in haste to live for the day. I think you would still love me, however. On the other hand, I might have been very different with you there. Well, we often say these days, don’t dwell on the “woulda, coulda, shoulda”. That is where madness would lie.

Of late, I am drawn to a variety of causes that echo the turmoil of the 1930s and 1940s–the rise of fascists in our government, the growing inequality that has led to massive financial insecurity once again, the hatred voiced against other people who are just different. I wonder if you and I would have had good conversations about the state of the world. I am sure you would be heartbroken at the poisoning of the environment and the death of so much flora and fauna that was your life’s work. Mom told me you loved to teach ecology in the early 1960s, when it was not nearly as chic as it became decades later. I am afraid it is not taught much any longer. We are too busy either plundering the earth’s resources and consuming it all up for money, or struggling to stay out of our own version of “Hoovervilles”.

We throw people away as readily as we toss out a candy wrapper.

I have found a richness in befriending people from many places and especially those in war-torn Syria (or newly escaped from Syria). I have a beloved “brother”, Walid, with whom I have had wonderful conversations. He too lost a father at a young age, and I learned that in many Arabic / Islamic cultures, the loss of the father automatically makes children orphans, even though the mothers still live. I don’t think of it as being a heavy-handed, male dominance thing as I might have done in the past. The women are very strong there, like Mom has been, but fathers are the guides to all their children and their loss is profound. No man can replace a father.

Walid suggested that I should plant lily-of-the-valley on your grave so you will know I think of you; I had mentioned to him that it was your favorite flower. I am sorry that I have not been able to do so, but I hope to someday. I have a renewed sensibility of the world, of humanity, and of a kind of love that is more true than the romantic stuff and nonsense people talk about.

Maybe after 50 years of being, at turns, vulnerable and fiercely self-reliant and walled-off from others, I am learning to love as a child loves. Oh, I have a ways to go and it will never be the perfect child, but I am discovering an oasis of humanity in myself that seemed to have dried up before.

You didn’t mean to leave me here. You didn’t cause me to be unhappy. But I live the lyrics of Patti Smith’s song, “Birdland”:

His father died and left him a little farm in New England.
All the long black funeral cars left the scene
And the boy was just standing there alone
Looking at the shiny red tractor
Him and his daddy used to sit inside
And circle the blue fields and grease the night.
It was if someone had spread butter on all the fine points of the stars
‘Cause when he looked up they started to slip.
Then he put his head in the crux of his arm
And he started to drift, drift to the belly of a ship,
Let the ship slide open, and he went inside of it
And saw his daddy ‘hind the control board streamin’ beads of light,
He saw his daddy ‘hind the control board,
And he was very different tonight
‘Cause he was not human, he was not human.

Little boy’s face lit up with such naked joy
That the sun burned around his lids and his eyes were like two suns,
White lids, white opals, seeing everything just a little bit too clearly
And he looked around and there was no black ship in sight,
No black funeral cars, nothing except for him, the raven
And fell on his knees and looked up and cried out,
No, daddy, don’t leave me here alone,
Take me up, daddy, to the belly of your ship,
Let the ship slide open and I’ll go inside of it
Where you’re not human, you are not human.

But nobody heard the boy’s cry of alarm.
Nobody there ‘cept for the birds around the New England farm
And they gathered in all directions, like roses they scattered
And they were like compass grass coming together into the head of a shaman bouquet
Slit in his nose and all the others went shooting
And he saw the lights of traffic beckoning like the hands of Blake
Grabbing at his cheeks, taking out his neck,
All his limbs, everything was twisted and he said,
I won’t give up, won’t give up, don’t let me give up,
I won’t give up, come here, let me go up fast,
Take me up quick, take me up, up to the belly of a ship
And the ship slides open and I go inside of it, where I am not human.

Someday I will not be human. But for now, I am and I won’t give up, especially the fight to see some justice restored in our world for the oppressed peoples.

I love you, Daddy. I am old now but I miss you and what might have been, whether it would have been a good, bad, or indifferent relationship. The silence of 50 years has been deafening.

Healthcare in America : Journeys Large and Small

07 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by in Home Truths

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Recently on Facebook, a friend I’ve known only a short while posted her story about the old days in America when any hope of health insurance was through employment.  Denise, I knew from the first time I met her, had been widowed at a young age with two little girls she needed to support.  It resonated for me as my own mother, widowed at 42, was suddenly thrown into a foreign world of trying to provide for my sister’s college education that was just one year done, my older brother who was struggling with 15 year old angst, and me at 10, emotionally devastated at what had happened.  When one parent dies, children often feel a knock-on effect as the survivor has to deal with the larger complexities of life and bills, as well as attempt to comfort all of us.

This is more of a tale about how we as a nation have argued back and forth about what should be the healthcare delivery system and insurance offerings.  There are a lot of problems with the Affordable Care Act (ACA) but for some of us, this imperfect and at times, aggravating bureaucratic system has been firmly a step in the right direction.  Denise wrote:

Just a quick story: I’m a widow who is a mom with two kids. When my husband was dying from cancer, his amazing employers helped us out. When we got the results, I knew we had to sell the house because I couldn’t afford cobra (health insurance) and my mortgage. I told him the day he got the worst news of his life that we were going to sell and fight for his life. Well I am still grateful that my husband didn’t work for a corporate company. They allowed him to die in peace and pain free while he fought his biggest battle. They sort of overlooked the insurance for a bit and allowed us to stay covered for the rest of the year. I went to college full time and the university allowed me to buy health insurance. I graduated in 2006. So I tried to buy insurance and discovered as a person with two part time jobs that not only I couldn’t afford it, but I was not able to purchase insurance. I had to join a self employed agency to purchase insurance for me, Lauren and Alexa. I had to pay 100 a month for that privilege. Then I went on to pay 1000 a month for catastrophic health insurance. What that means is we were not covered unless we were in dire, dire circumstances. I accumulated so much debt for our regular medical expenses and paid 100 percent for my daughters’ checkups. And when I was sick, I waited it out. I got really sick. I didn’t go because I didn’t want another financial burden for my family. ( do you see this insane juggle: my health, my life over money?). Justify that for me please. I waited it out and got fatally sick and probably caused more damage. I actually with a huge bill on my back survived. I had to leave my jobs but I survived. I’m grateful. But then I realized I still had children dependent on me and couldn’t work right away. But this time, I had a preexisting condition. That means my insurance alone was 1600 a month. And theirs, another 2600 a month with part time Jobs. 4200 month x 12. Today I have insurance. My daughters have it too. And when I see a deductible, I see it as a luxury. I don’t engage in conversations about health insurance because I’m incredibly emotional, mostly with gratitude, that it’s even a dialogue because there wasn’t one when I needed it most.

On the eve of a new president being elected in the U.S., it is fervently hoped that while a lot is not well with the existing system, largely due to the inherent flaw that allowed private health insurance get into the thick of it and rig it for their continued benefit and ineffective checks on cost and coverage, it is certainly hoped that we can avoid going back to the bad old days of being squeezed dry in the name of profits.

My own mother doesn’t seem to have had as much worry about our health in the late 1960s and early 1970s, which can only mean that the tipping point came within the frame of the Reagan Revolution of dismantling any government oversight in protecting consumers, through the “Greed is Good” era that still pervades today.

Without a renewed effort to make access to health care easy and guaranteed to all, we will weaken as a nation.  Even if we receive health care, the expenses will bankrupt most families.

Jump in Homelessness for Older Women : One Story

04 Tuesday Oct 2016

Posted by in Over 50 and Unemployed

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Nouveau Poor

A sympathetic friend of mine shared this item on Facebook, and I’m probably the one person she knows with whom it resonates the loudest.  It comes from Vox, and features a guest columnist named CeliaSue Hecht.

CeliaSue is actually “over the wall” as she reached the age where Social Security checks are there for her.  But that’s about all.  She is in a region where I think it may be a pretty price to rent, and so is the area where I have made a home of some kind for over 30 years.  I am not old enough for any SSI checks, not disabled, no kids–no criteria for which an exception can be made to help me much out of the “nouveau poor” status that I have share with CeliaSue.

Some people offer the cavalier advice of “move where the jobs are”.  Move?  If you have a busted down car (or very nearly one), no regular income (just what dribbles in from freelance work), and reliant on people giving a rat’s ass about you (well, my phrase for having a support network), how the hell are you able to move around the country?  Can’t afford to leave, can’t afford to stay.

Dodging Bullets

I have been able to dodge some of the worst so far, with a housing solution that combines a spot with a longtime friend when I am not house and cat-sitting for others.  Maybe I’m not so much un-homed or un-housed like Hecht, but I just mentioned to someone recalling that the Duke of Edinburgh used to be shipped around as a youngster while his parents were exiled from their home in Greece, and he was known to sign the visitor’s book set out by his hosts with information that read something like “Philip, Of No Fixed Abode” (I actually found internet references like this one).  That’s what I am tempted to say when people ask me where I live.  I have dodged a number of long time friends, I am just too exhausted.  Let me sum it up this way:

Out of Money bumper sticker

I’ve interviewed for a few jobs in some of the more fertile employment markets that are more likely to feature the kind of jobs I am suited for yet nothing sticks.  In addition to being gray-haired, creakier and slower moving, and somewhat pale in my overall character, I am not helped by ancient clothes that offer more in comfort than in style.  My best walking sneakers that didn’t aggravate my heel spurs and plantar fasciitis are nearly worn through.  I didn’t deliberately choose to require costlier footwear (inherited my father’s horrible feet, I suspect), it is just a fact.  But I can also do so many different types of tasks and excel at using my intellectual gifts, why do I need to rely solely on looks?  Oh yeah, I’m a girl.  My value is tied up on how tasty I can be as eye-candy.

 

I got hit by one vicious bullet: the loss of my two cats who I believe have been re-homed via a super rescue service, but in my world, they were what kept me in better fighting form.  It was a risk to leave an unsavory situation I was in about 16 months ago, but I honestly, like CeliaSue, could not see staying in a housing situation where my sanity + my cats’ safety would be under continuous assault.  It was a different type of abuse, more psychological and financial on the one hand, physical danger from 4 out of control dogs and an Alzheimer’s patient on the other.  So I jumped to miss one bullet, and shortly afterwards I took a direct hit where the pain still comes back in searing hot tears and loneliness.

FDR: “I see one-third of a nation ill-housed, ill-clad, and ill-nourished”

Approximately 80 years ago, this man rallied a nation to do better.  While it isn’t as bad today, CeliaSue provides a embedded link to HUD data with her own words that the over 50 demographic make up 1/3 of the homeless population of America:

Elderly homelessness is on the rise. A combination of slow economic recovery from the recession and an aging baby boomer population has contributed to the rise of the 51 and older homeless population. The percentage has spiked by almost 10 points since 2007 — in 2014, the 51-and-older group represented nearly a third of the national homeless population.  –CeliaSue Hecht, as told to Karen Turner at Vox.com

A major component of The New Deal targeted keeping the older American out of poverty, something that was common in the early part of the 20th century amid another Gilded Age of economic inequality with a vast gulf between a small group of oligarchs and the rest of America.  Will we be able to see our own era give rise to a new FDR that can demand human dignity for the majority and shame the 1% in backing off with their rapacious greed.

And will that person come in time for many of us?

Older Women and Age Bias in Hiring

11 Sunday Sep 2016

Posted by in Over 50 and Unemployed

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A while back, an article in an online site for mature Americans, Nextavenue.org, as we euphemistically call ourselves, published a resonating piece that was shared on Facebook, and that one can view here.  I posted some of my thoughts on this, and I also offer a smattering of other inputs from other women who felt this hit too close to home.

Donna D. Immediately I think of three single over 55 women I know…in this situation…it is real…and really ugly…and the “find-a-job-online” filtering system of today hasn’t done a thing but chip away at their once-strong, now waning, self esteem.

For all the upbeat talk about self-esteem, via the feeble memes that cross your Facebook feed on a daily basis, when you tell someone that you are faltering at keeping up appearances, they somehow don’t connect how much of that self-esteem is about being a financially viable adult.

Lori P. This is a very real, very sad, economic plight visited more and more upon women aged 55 and older. Our society has just turned and looked away from this problem. We are not responding to it properly. We must remember the financial collapse of 2009 hit especially hard upon this age group of women.

When I met Representative David Cicilline (RI) at a senior citizens open house, I told him I really wasn’t the target audience for his event apart from the fact that I am apparently considered elderly from an employment perspective.  He got it.  He told me, “Your demographic has been hit the worst, particularly after the financial meltdown.”  Still, politicians who ‘get it’ aren’t really getting the job done apart from empathy and speaking to the problem.

Debi H. Appalled that there are so many of us out here. No one wants to hire us or they will hire us for a third of what we used to make. Social Security if you take it at 62 may not be enough to live on. You learn the many ways to cook ramen.

The saddest story I ever heard about college students blowing their monthly allowance too soon in the month was having to eat Cheerios (TM) with water.  Bleah.

Betsy M. I agree about not hiding – telling our stories can be incredibly powerful. However, I think it should go beyond telling a friend because that is how we bring about change. This is happening to a lot of us, disproportionately to women, and should not be a “phase” of our lives. No one should expect to live in poverty in the United States.

Hence I am posting a lot more on this blog to collect these stories and to get them shared.

Jackie L. I think this is the most authentic thing I have read on Facebook today. I am 62, in a horrendous job that I used to love. I am known for my skills and am now under the thumb of an under educated, mean 25 year old who is my supervisor. I am living on a thread, have no retirement due to a mentally ill ex-husband who squandered money and put us into debt. I am weary from trying to find new work- they simply do not hire you.

The exhaustion rivals those of working mothers who are expected to do it all.

Jennifer H. And so what happens is women who are highly educated, experienced, professional, have raised children, and managed a household turn to jobs in retail or fast food when they are 58.

Retail is highly demanding and can be stressful if you are not a natural in small talk or patience.

Tessandra O. I don’t know what’s the hardest, not being able to get decent medical care now that I’m on state healthcare, or all the friends I’ve lost because I can no longer go out and do things that take any money. Also, who wants to chat with someone who hasn’t had any happy news in such a long time. At least I’ve made friends with the homeless guy who sleeps in my carport so if I lose this place, I have someone to hang out with.

This is a “WOW”. Building alliances with the homeless so you have a community nonetheless.  I am not quite where Tessandra is however I have avoided friends I knew years ago because I really have no great news and am tired of explaining where I’ve been for the past few years.

Julia C. Sobering look at the reality of so many women. how are we to support them in a society that is so focused on how young you are and not what you can contribute? All anyone needs is a chance. Not a man to pay for everything or an inheritance. If you are not in this position. be gracious if someone isn’t keeping up with the invitations. It maybe because they are “faking normal”.

The greatest tragedy is that with so many invisible people with talent, the real economy of every day life (as opposed to the unreal Wall Street version of buying and selling and doing stock market deals) will continue to shrink.  Ultimately, you’d think it would have to bring down the entire works, so few people who truly spend won’t be buying the goods and services that will keep even Wal-Mart and other big business afloat.

Isn’t this just all a bunch of anecdotal moaning?

Well, yes and no.  PBS did a piece back at the beginning of the year, January 2016, about the perceived bias in hiring older women and how it could be verified through quantifiable research.  University of California-Irvine economist, David Neumark was interviewed and described a twist on a racial discrimination analysis, using gender and age instead.  The proof came that there is some form of discrimination, whether it was intended or subconscious, against any female candidates who sounded older than other candidates, male or female.

I have even contemplated that I could be discriminated against because of my first name, Carol.  It was popular in the the 1940s through to the early 1960s, and then it fell off a cliff, so to speak. (Social Security data can track the popularity of names for children who are recorded as “live births”).  This website, BabyNamesHub, pulls together SSA data to help people consider baby names, which disclosed that “Carol” is most often associated with women in their 70s; I’m just shy of 60.  So it just doesn’t come across as a young-sounding name (it’s worse in the UK, no baby girls were named “Carol” in 2014).

For more painful reading for us over 50 and female, PBS had a companion piece for this article.  Somehow, women who take time off to be re-productively active (having babies) are penalized for coming back to the workplace twice–missing out on the best earning years plus, now that they are no longer able to reproduce, there seems to be a view that biologically sterile translates into being useless in other realms.

Can’t catch a break.

Universal Basic Income : an Idea Whose Time Must Come?

10 Saturday Sep 2016

Posted by in Over 50 and Unemployed

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On May 11, 2016, Robert Reich posted this on Facebook:

“Last week I delivered a lecture in Switzerland on why Switzerland needs a universal basic income (the Swiss are voting on it very soon). The logic is the same for the United States: New technologies will replace so many jobs that we will need a universal, minimum basic income in order to provide everyone at least subsistence earnings, as well as maintain enough aggregate demand to keep the economy moving forward. I don’t expect any progress on this here within the next decade, but I think it’s inevitable.”

And what followed was a significant response from those of us over 50 who have struggled to find work in a job market that values youth and cheap over maturity and skill.  Here is an edited sampling, from all over the U.S., starting with my own:

Carol Murchie It is the nightmare of being a “donut hole”. I got let go in 1997 just shy of my 40th birthday after reaching a decent income. All subsequent work kept getting less and less money. I’ve gone the freelancer route in the past few years, but as the middle class small and moderate sized businesses have gotten squeezed, they don’t always have the money. Have had one seasonal retail job in four years since last full-time work. Only 58, master’s degree, top notch computer skills, can write, do bookkeeping in QuickBooks (self taught)…and do great customer service and other soft skills. Can scarcely get the time of day from employment prospects. I really would like to organize an entire bloc of us to metaphorically kick some ass on many levels –political, corporate, any who would keep us out of gainful employment and exile us to irrelevancy.

Men and women are affected by ageism in hiring.

Steve C. – I think something has to be done and soon. I have the 21st century skills of software developer and have been unemployed for 16 months! Could it be because I’m 59 years old? In tech you can’t get hired if you are over 40 as age discrimination is rampant in the industry. So I have two degrees and 30+ years of experience and can’t find a software job. What’s wrong with this picture?… there are plenty of online articles about the age discrimination in tech. They think us “older workers” don’t have the latest skill set and they don’t want us taking off sick time. Plus, they want to pay entry level salaries and work people 60-80 hours/week. They know that us grandpas won’t kill ourselves as slave labor anymore.

I have seen a divide of quantity over quality, the favoritism toward those who work all hours of the day over those of us who can work effectively without running hard.  I call it the inability to distinguish activity from achievement.

James W. Yep. 35 year of IT, VP of a tech firm with years of programming and analyst experience behind me, making 6 figures. THEN, 2008, laid off, couldn’t get jack shit for 1/2 my previous salary. Now in my 60’s —- no hope. I’ve given up.

The conversation is please get out of the workforce at 55 to make way for the younger generation, but don’t expect any financial safety net or help until you’re well into your sixties.

Wendy O. Age discrimination IS rampant, and brushed under the carpet. If we think it’s bad now, just think of all those whose retirement age, for full SS has climbed up to! How in the hell can anyone save, to retire by those ages, IF they can’t stay gainfully and continuously employed to get to full retirement age? As it is, due to the dismal employment opportunities, over the last decade, and outlook for the future, there is less money going into SS, no doubt. Companies may as well hand every employee, they terminate under any pretext, a cyanide pill along with the pink slip. That, or the starving homeless population will grow to be exponential.

Some say the new, new thing is the “gig economy” of Uber and E-Lance, but these are poor swaps for a livable wage.

Jim S. I’m with ya, brother. And I’m only 53. 😂😂😂 I’ve accepted the fact that I’m probably going to have to settle for contact work from here on out. Yes, the age discrimination is real. That, and salary discrimination. In this “all profit all the time” shareholder and Wall Street mentality of the 1%, the unspoken rule is salary and hiring depression. I like to call it “trickle down unemployment” because that’s been the real result for a lot of highly experienced and skilled workers over the age of 40.

America has an innate fear of the well-educated, too.  The code words for ‘too old’ is that you are far too overqualified and have far more education than the job requires.  Of course, the flip side of that coin is if you have no really deep, vertical training and experience in a particular area.

Denise G.  I have STEM, but have been unemployed since 2010. THREE degrees. Does anyone care?? Nope. We are squandering an entire part of the population and extreme amounts of talent…I HAVE a teaching license. AND live in rural MN. NO ONE Is hiring anyone with a MASTERS DEGREE. In fact, one of my friends said they just got a mass email from the superintendent stating that anyone who could take early retirement needed to, due to the coming HUGE budget shortfall. The entire nation is ridding itself of anyone over 45. They all want young blood that they can manipulate and pay cheap wages, let alone control benefits…. Go to Over Fifty and Out of Work and SEE what is REALLY happening in the US. All the people on this thread talking about oh, this place will hire you. that place will hire you, etc. NOT until we get some incentives for hiring and UNTIL WE PUT some TEETH into the age discrimination laws.

Often there is a blame-the-victim culture, that losing a job is a sign of personal failure, a sinful past, a weakness or other defect.  The hard part is knowing that the truly criminal behavior of some people visits the punishment on you and they go scot-free.

Allen E. Same thing happened to me. I worked for a company that was wildly successful but the banking meltdown sunk us…a company that was grossing 10 million  (USD) a year and employing 80 people before that! Our line of credit and loans were called and there was no government bailout for us. I was in my 60s at that time and as you might guess, there were very few jobs to be had and what was out there didn’t go to us “old-timers”. I thought accounting was a good, safe field of work but with constant mergers and automation of accounting services lots of companies no long have accounting offices… One thing you have to keep in mind, working at a company when you’re in your 40s or 50s is one thing, but trying to compete in the job market at that age is another. You might see an older guy at the office but you can bet your ass he/she is not a new hire. I have a lot of older friends sweatin’ it out hoping they can hang on at their companies until they reach retirement age.

The news is full of the productivity levels being high but they never quite explain that productivity is a ratio of output balanced against inputs, or namely, how much gets done with the least amount of personnel and money.  This is capitalism in a totally unfettered state.

Cathie C. I was there, too. For a long time after turning 50 I couldn’t even land an interview at a gas station or a convenience store. I finally found a minimum wage job at a dollar store where they absolutely consider every employee to be a thief that they just haven’t caught yet and want you to work your butt off rather than hire one more person so that the work could get done without killing yourself. I felt like a brown pelican-they have to dive with their eyes open to catch enough fish to survive, but the salt water eventually blinds them so they are just killing themselves to eat. I eventually found a great job, but those years changed me forever. I used to be positive and upbeat, confident that I would always land on top. Now I know depression and that I could be back in that position in a heartbeat no matter how hard working and determined I am. A guaranteed basic income would save us-if we didn’t have to fear for our survival we could still have our self respect and not be stuck where you feel you have no worth to society anymore and are just a waste of space on the planet.

The pain and shame makes you very lonely.

Sheila E. Been there and am another fellow “changed person” forever…I wouldn’t wish that struggle on my greatest enemy…I’m not sure if even my family understands or ever will…

Age is but a number.

Bill W.  If you are over 50, you can’t even get any interviews, no matter how much experience you have.”

“Melissa L. That is very sad. I describe myself as a 52 year old woman, with 19th century aesthetic, 20th century skills, trying to be gainfully employed in the 21st century. Not looking good for me either.

The old bait and switch.  You need to do this.  No money? Take out a student loan.  Now you are done, no one needs that skill or you find the under 30s are being hired over you with the same degree.  And you have a fat debt you can’t get out from under, to boot.

Douglas K. The typical conservative-libertarian answer is- “the market changed, YOU have to acquire new skills the market needs”. The reality is, one could go and get any skills, any graduate or technical degree you want in your 50s, and most companies would be hardly any more likely to hire you. I don’t whether the Universal Basic Income would help this or not, but anything that makes conditions better for workers and especially the unemployed should be an improvement.

What happened to the value of education in our society?  We let the free market run riot and no one really wants truly educated people as a result, it’s of no value compared to the hedge fund manager.

Dr. Cheryl C. I have worked for AT&T in Sales and Marketing, I was a legal administrator at a county hospital, I know how to write grants, I have run and managed churches and small businesses, and I was a public school teacher for 14 years. And I have doctorate in education. I have been unemployed for 2 years. I am 64 years old and can’t even get a phone call back after applying as a receptionist!! Nobody wants to hire someone my age. Social Security is the only thing keeping me from living on the street.

I am amazed at how many people didn’t ever read Joseph Heller’s Catch-22,  especially those under 35 or 40.  If things keep going the way they are, they won’t even have a frame of reference for how mad this all is.

Steve D. Add to that, you can’t get Medicare until 65, can’t withdraw from your retirement accounts [if you’ve got any] until 59.5, and can’t get your full social security until 66+. The system is rigged.  If it weren’t for the [for-profit] system, technological advance could have translated to less work hours while maintaining the same standard of living. Eventually, it could mean a basic income, but eventually, money doesn’t even make any sense. Enter Karl Marx.  No workers, no consumers, no capitalism.

We older rejects still have creativity and survival instincts.  Unfortunately, not all of us have a partner who brings in a second income to ensure we can stay housed, clothed, fed.

Laurie J. Washington State. 58, laid off in 2011 from civil service. Have high level skills. No luck finding any work at all so I make things and sell them on Etsy. I can’t just do nothing at all. If not for my husband I’d be a bag lady right now…me and my Master’s Degree.

The unkindest cut of all.  You’ve no money, you’re an older woman who has golden threads turning to silver or salt and pepper (and some of us are very far gone, even as young as our late thirties).  And you’re expected to shell out for hair dye to give yourself a veneer of agelessness that you probably can’t pull off if you’ve got a lot of professional experience.  Paying out $50-60-75 for a temporary fix just to at least get in the door?  This is madness.

Paula L.  I’m 59 and have a job interview tomorrow. This reminds me I need to dye my hair!

Of course, when our US Congress heard some time ago all the input from older workers who were consistently blanked for hiring, they couldn’t see ageism as a factor because no employer swore and oath and told the truth.

Vicki C.  I was told by someone at the Texas Workforce Commission (unemployment office) that age discrimination is alive and well. I had a great resume, good experience, good references but for the first time in my life I couldn’t find a job at age 60. After unemployment ran out and I had exhausted my savings I had to take early retirement at age 62. I had been previously in sales.

Wow, a solution–to work at a wage that wouldn’t pay for an apartment in most parts of our country or head for a country that is wracked by fundamentalism and tribal warfare, particularly against women.  Nice choice. So, try and work freelance for people who love to have you do work for them but forget about paying you.

Penney D. I have a Ph.D. in economics. I had a great job, loved what I did. The company I worked for was small, about 90 people. I was a road warrior, attending 60-80 trade shows per year. Went to work last Feb., doors were locked & the company never said a word. Turns out the CEO was looting the bank account. No problem, I thought, I have massive relevant degrees. It’s all about analytics & big data.
Its 15 months & the only offer I’ve gotten is filling shampoo bottles at $9.25/hr or teaching at a U in Lagos. I’m 61. The other side of this is.. I do consulting to pay the bills, but we pay 35% in taxes, we have to chase our $$ – most companies only want to pay every 60-90 days once you invoice them. i am owed over $28K in billings – I could do my own collections full time. The Gig economy isn’t all its cracked up to be.

For Veterans who served the country, the struggle goes on, despite the plethora of programs announced for helping Vets in particular get back into the workforce.

Mary R.  Two years ago, I was prepared to move and went ahead and took a leave of absence. At the last minute the move fell through. I was not allowed to get my job back until the leave of absence term was up. Then I had to hustle to get one. I discovered that 17 years experience in teaching, a college degree, and being a US Army Veteran DID NOT procure offers, it did not even procure interviews. I am over the age of 50, I do believe this is a factor. My thought was how in the world am I having so much trouble ? If this can happen to me, What happens to the young with no experience? Are they hired at dirt cheap wages that require them to have two or three jobs just to survive? It is way to young for me to retire as they have raised the age which I qualify for Social Security to 67.  I was lucky because after a couple of months, I got a very awful job, but at least I had an income.  I think that time for a universal basic income is now…  WOW, I never expected to get so many replies to this and to hear the same problem – Ageism. We cannot collect money for Social Security until most of us are 67. What do we do [until] then.

Possibly the worst aspect is realizing your friends and family are often unable to help meaningfully.  If I hear one more, “you’re so smart-talented-clever-nice, why can’t you find a job?” I will not be responsible for what happens next.

Gemma S. 25+ years here as a technology consultant. 47 years old. Can’t find work to save my life. The neoliberals among us will immediately assume that I’m doing something wrong, because they can’t conceive of a world in which external forces can result in a skilled worker being unable to find employment. I can’t even count the number of times I have had well-meaning friends ask me if I’d like them to look over my résumé to see if they can maybe improve it. So, I send them my résumé, and they are embarrassed because mine is far better than theirs…

So, the final verdict, which I happen to share:

Scott J. You are so right, I’m 59 and in the same boat though I only have one degree and so much experience I can’t list it all. Ageism will be sending us to an early grave if America doesn’t fund something like a Universal Basic Income.

 

Long Time Gone from Blogging

05 Monday Sep 2016

Posted by in Nonspecific Jabber

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I’ve been busy, mercifully, with some extra work this summer but hit a dry patch.  So finally getting around to tackling new entries in the hope that I can keep on it a bit more regularly.

This present year has its troughs and peaks between what personally goes on in my life and what is happening in the general events around the world.  I get an idea and develop it in my head, typically in the shower or while I’m doing an errand but then the momentum goes pffffftt!

I get very passionate about mobilizing a bloc of us professionals who have been down-sized to the brink of all hope gone, to get the word out that there is a group who are mostly invisible for reasons we can probably guess at.  As your financial means decline, you become more home-centric, at least while you have a home.  When money is coming in, you’re busy with solving the problems for which you were hired.

Then there’s the culture we still, despite the increased anger, resentment, and outrage at what is happening to people through violence, natural disasters and personal catastrophes like illness or fatal car crashes, push away those thoughts that might be sobering enough for us to question those things we CAN change and shrug it all off with a Polly Anna-ish attitude that it’s part of a great plan and things will change for the better (“I do believe in fairies! I do believe in fairies! I do believe in fairies!”)  So no one wants to really know about you, REALLY.  In the quest for ‘brightsidedness’, as Barbara Ehrenreich so nicely described, it occurs to me that we are LESS empathic than a negative person like I am so often described.  The “brightsiders” want you to stop being a misery guts, not for your own benefit but for theirs, lest you cause them to attract bad shit.

Magical thinking to end homelessness, poverty, loneliness, degraded living?  How about trying something concrete like writing letters, getting involved politically, waking up to what can be done besides putting a sticker on your car.

Delegates, Schmelegates

09 Thursday Jun 2016

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There’s one primary left to go and neither Bernie Sanders nor Hillary Clinton have the required 2382 delegates secured for the outright nomination as the Democratic candidate for the Presidency.

This did not stop the media outlets prior to the big Tuesday primaries in NJ, California, Montana, etc. from crowning Hillary the nominee presumptive, based on the party elite known as super delegates who are scheduled to vote at the Democratic Party Convention on July 25th.  The lion’s share of these super delegates are indicated as backers of Hillary and therefore based on their status, they are presume to be casting their official votes on that date.

Maybe the media should use the phrase “nominee assumptive”, because that is really what it feels like.

A lot has been written about the history of the Democratic Party super delegates, how they came to exist.  The short version is that the 1968 contested convention would have seen the person with the most primary votes, following Bobby Kennedy’s assassination, was Eugene McCarthy who was a very far left individual, or as the mainstream party would like to think of him, a very scary person.  So the party quickly kluged together some rules to set the current Vice-President, Hubert Humphrey, as the party’s preferred nominee and despite that going horribly wrong, went on to ensure that this sort of democratic nonsense didn’t happen again.  So there are now a big wedge of party long-timers and office holders that make up one-third of the available delegate count.

And this is where I like to veer off since I have had too much time to watch the goings-on this election cycle (and waiting for the GOP to come up with their own super delegate process in light of the disaster that is Donald Trump).  The whole thing is really a farce because we really have gone back to the old smoke-filled rooms of party wheelers and dealers that decide who will be their nominal leader to run for the U.S. Presidency.

Because that is what this whole state primary crap has been about: it isn’t a Presidential Primary, it is a bastardized version of the UK’s parliamentary system where party insiders agree on who is the best leader among them strategically to get the population ginned up to vote for their parliamentary members.  Most people in the UK are automatically registered to vote, they don’t have to declare any affiliation whatsoever, UNLESS they want to be a part of the crowd who like to horse-trade and lay odds on who the best party leader might be to get them all into parliament.  The party leader then becomes the de facto Prime Minister (well, after a short visit with HRM at Buck House to be asked to form Her Majesty’s next government, while a corgi nibbles the PM-presumptive’s ankles).

Until about 80-odd years ago, this was how American Presidential elections were largely designed.  Then someone mumbled something about “maybe we should be more democratic and let people have a vote on this” and out popped the state primary system that kicked into high gear about 50 years later.  But the only thing that has really changed is the outrageous amount of money and time that this all now takes, a gravy train for the corporate media (who have clearly shown their preference for Hillary as a friendly politician, one who claims Wall Street investment bankers to be constituents equal to the struggling family of 4 who need to work several jobs just to keep head above water).  Sanders might have them see, oh horrors! the re-introduction of the Fairness Doctrine in reporting that was gutted by Reagan.

So, I think it is high time that we call these primaries for what they really are which are not Presidential at all but a selection of the party leader and if the great unwashed don’t get it right, well, let’s ensure that there are byzantine rules and a big clot of people we can trust who will reverse this silliness.

Hillary, under this system, was the nominee assumptive all along.  So it would have been far kinder to just say party members only can vote across the board on each side (as well as any formally designated other parties) and then have a general election against the pick of each.  Sanders could have run as his own party selection, and he has shown that with the right message and leadership, he could do it without a huge party treasury or other buyers and sellers of the people’s government.

Of course, this poses a problem for both parties–they’ve alienated so many over the past 40 years that most people refuse to be declared a party affiliate.  What to do?  Frankly, the actions of the Democratic Party in the past several months has probably only enhanced this effect, and the Republican Party is quite possibly already in hospice care.

Maybe we really are a democracy because it has long been said that democracy is a very messy process, and we certainly are in the biggest mess right now, hoping that what we did to get us here is what we try to use to get us out.

As Paul Hollywood of the Great British Bake Off might say when he sees a baking disaster ahead, “Good luck with that.”

 

 

Two Meanings of Memorial Day

30 Monday May 2016

Posted by in Somewhere in England

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William Roger Murchie

This is one of the tough times of the year for me personally.  My father was a WWII veteran, having served in the US Army Air Force in the European Theatre from about 1942 (stateside) until the end in 1945.  1944-1945 was served on a base in Norfolk England, Hethel to be precise.

Memorial Day as a kid was probably mostly picnics or planting flowers in the garden, as well as the day my parents were absolutely certain the long Michigan winters were over and it was time to swap out the storm windows on our screen doors and let the fresh air waft through the house.

On May 29, 1968, this changed for me forever.  My father collapsed the previous evening at home, rushed to the local hospital, and died in the small hours of the morning the following day–May 30, 1968.  It was almost eerie in my mind because I had been aware of the sudden death of another fairly young father, Martin Luther King Jr, barely two months earlier and like the death of John F. Kennedy 5 years before that, I felt sad for the other children over their loss of a parent.  And in less than two weeks after my father died, Robert Kennedy would be assassinated in California, leaving behind more small fatherless children.

It has been 48 years to the day (in 1968, Memorial Day was always the 30th of May before the switch to a roaming Monday national day), and here it is again.  My dad was 48 when he died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage; he has been a memory for a long as he was a living, breathing human being.  I was 10 years old at the time.

My memories of my dad have had to be enhanced by reading his letters, hearing stories his colleagues told, and from members of my own family who were older.  My mother has been a good resource although as she approaches her 91st birthday in a few months she has more ghostly memories of my dad than she once did.

I do recall my dad’s elder brother, Ed, who lived 97 years (luck of the draw?) and who told me once that my dad hated cemeteries.  He would rather see parks for children to play in.  Ironically, he is interred in one of the prettiest cemeteries I have seen, Oakwood in Sharon, PA, in one of the places that my Scottish great grandfather purchased for several graves a long time ago…before there was even a World War I, let alone a World War II.  Sorry, Daddy, your ashes are in a cemetery but I couldn’t ask for a nicer place.  I do wish I were closer to you, and again I am glad I am not because I don’t know if I could bear visiting that place very often.

Now that Uncle Ed is gone, I am not certain if anyone is looking after the giant stone urns my great grandfather or maybe my grandfather placed at the Murchie burial ground.  I have found some photos of them when Ed took pride in planting brightly colored flowers like geraniums.  But like the people there, they too are probably only a memory.

Forty-eight years ago, my life took a very sharp turn in a matter of hours, and I alternate between feeling numb to hearing the news about someone dying and crying inconsolably like the little girl I was back then.  The raging Vietnam war and the race riots of 1968, not to mention a controversial election year all at that same time, it seems like it is a bad memory coming back now.  I have continued to feel loss: of home, of stability, of cherished friends, of my beloved cats, of jobs that just don’t last long enough or pay enough to ride through the dark times.  I do have hope that this era of stress and loss and struggle will itself become a memory, albeit it will be one that I will work on forgetting.

People preach about “letting go” and I hear what they’re saying.  But one of the best books I have ever read was “The Loss that is Forever” about the loss of a parent to a young child, especially one who has yet to leave their parents’ protection.  You’re not ready to let go then, and it seems a pity to let go now.

Loss that is forever bookcover

And that is why we pause on Memorial Day.

 

American Exceptionalism or Bust

22 Tuesday Mar 2016

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I just posted recently about how much I felt enriched by the introduction to a fabulous book, The Age of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby, by taking the time each week to tune into Bill Moyers program on PBS years ago.  Another epiphany came with a second book, The Limits of Power by Andrew Bacevich, who also appeared as a guest at a later point in the 2008 US Presidential election year–at the time, the election had yet to be held.  You can watch the complete interview in two parts, here and here

It was the first I ever heard of the phrase, American exceptionalism, and it continues to ring horribly in my ears because there are those who would still believe it after multiple military adventures in poor, primarily Islamic countries in the name of a War on Terror.  This is Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again”, painting a picture of a relentless army of angry, violent soldiers who will flood the world, including America itself.  Now, it is said that he probably isn’t REALLY going to do this, but do we really want to chance it?

The dilemma we continue to have in this country is beautifully summed up in this initial point made by Bacevich in this interview.  He says:

I think there’s a tendency on the part of policy makers and probably a tendency on the part of many Americans to think that the problems we face are problems that are out there somewhere, beyond our borders. And that if we can fix those problems, then we’ll be able to continue the American way of life as it has long existed. I think it’s fundamentally wrong. Our major problems are at home.

Ironically, he is pointing out something that really was recognized over 60 years earlier by none other than FDR, when he proposed his Second Bill of Rights.

What most people would like to think is that all can be good and it won’t cost anything in terms of taxes or other money, and I think this is where Bacevich completes the vision of FDR because there would be some degree of sacrifice among everyone to achieve a nourishing society for all. It ain’t cheap. But I think we can do without relying on cheap, tatty goods to make up for poor education, poor healthcare delivery systems, poor wages for the majority once the extremely wealthy are paying into the services that so many people need. Occasional charity is insufficient, it does not really build a solid society that has truly vibrant exchanges of goods and services, one that is sustainable.  What flummoxes me is how people point to Henry Ford paying his workers well enough that they could afford to buy his automobiles, and yet going into paroxysms of indignity to think that a school teacher earns more than $40,000 a year to start.  Seriously?  These teachers are often paying for school materials because the district budget has no money for them.

I will doubtless return to this topic when I can, it is too important to ignore.